RP Library

E: I admit that she's more like the person I'd be attracted to than Evangeline. Sirius, I'm speaking from a purely physical standpoint here: are you telling me that if Evangeline was one of your loyal army of admirers, you wouldn't want her? I'd bet money that you think she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen.

S: Most beautiful? I don't know...

More beautiful than anybody I've ever met. Her face, her eyes, her everything.

S: She's pretty.

R: Right. We're rating her.

Remus scrawled a table of sorts on his parchment, and wrote a few headings, then Amy, Dahlia and Evangeline at the side.

R: Right: eyes. Rate out of ten, with ten being the best. See thou dissemble not.

Remus chuckled as he quoted The Bard.

S: I'm only doing this if you are.

R: ...Fine. But we both have to be completely honest.

Sirius nodded in agreement.

'Eyes: E9 A6 D8
Mouth: E8 A5 D8
Nose: E9 A5 D7
Hair: E9 A6 D9
Boobs: E9 A6 D6
Legs: E8 A6 D6
Bum: E10 A7 D6'

S: Now you!

Remus didn't believe he'd only give Evangeline a nine for her boobs after he'd seen the up close last night, and having her legs wrapped around him, but didn't complain.

'Eyes: E7 A8 D6
Mouth: E6 A8 D7
Nose: E6 A10 D7
Hair: E7 A8 D8
Boobs: E8 A8 D6
Legs: E7 A7 D6
Bum: E7 A9 D5'

He looked slightly flustered whenever he had to rate a bum.

S: Well isn't this revealing.

He held it up.

S: Why have you only given Evangeline a 7 for her bum, she's got a great--

He stopped himself.

R: You're allowed to say it. I understand that to you she's an annoying but pretty object. Go ahead, Sirius, admit it: you think she's got a nice bum.

S: Well she has... Better than Amy's.

R: No you're wrong.

S: Am I?

He feigned thought.

S: No.

R: Right, what's so good about it?

Remus was prepared for a serious discussion about this.

S: It's quite round, you know, like a peach.

R: Yeah, so's Amy's! Plus, Amy's is fuller. Evangeline's is a bit small.

S: Fuller? Fuller?

R: Yeah! She's curvier. Evangeline's willowy, and slim, but she has no curves!

Not strictly true.

S: Yeah but her bum's still great! Amy's bum's more... I don't know...

R: Obviously I haven't tested the firmness. I all fairness Evangeline's looks firm, pert or whatever, but she looks so... I dunno. She's too perfect, if you know what I mean. She looks like she's straight off the cover of Witch Weekly. It's like she doesn't look real. Amy's a real woman. She has curves, and imperfections. That's exactly it! Evangeline has nothing 'wrong' with her physically. In some ways that's great, but she just looks so unattainable. Amy's beautiful in her own way.

Amy walked in, her eyes searching the room for her friends. As she reached them she heard Remus' final sentence. It was too late to turn back.

A: Hi!

Remus froze, laughing nervously.

R: Oh, hey!

She felt her hair start to curl, but suppressed it instantly.

A: So...

Sirius snatched the parchment up and hid it under his shirt.

Remus looked between them.

R: Free?

A: Yeah...

She sat next to him, rather awkwardly, aware that their arms were touching.

Remus was, too. Also aware that she was sat upon the bottom that he had moments earlier been praising.

R: Homework?