RP Games and Stuff!

Painful?

A bit, considering I don't think very often

I can imagine.

I was bored I did it already shut up

It was with a different face that Amy read the news of her old friend's escape from Askaban. She didn't smile, she couldn't, as she was being watched closely by a superior auror. The picture of Sirius snarled at her from the front of the newspaper, face aged considerably from the last time she'd seen it. All those long years ago, when she was still Amaryllis Pepper. She knew Sirius was innocent and, in a way, she liked to think that there were likeminded people in the world. The superior auror was not of the same view, she gathered, as she peered at the picture with wide, scared eyes.
"Scary man, isn't he?" Helena Gadbet murmured.
"Yes." Her new face, smooth pale skin and dead straight black hair, was not the face that Sirius Black would know. It saddened her to think that, even if she were to find him (as she was being ordered to), he would not smile at her. He would not even think to call out her old name. Amy. She was Rhea now. Rhea the auror with the straight nose and blue eyes. Rhea who was now being ordered to kill one of her oldest friends. Rhea who's real face had an official death certificate and hadn't been seen for years.
Of course, she saw Lupin often, not with Amy's face obviously. She'd check up on him with new features, make sure he was safe. After the news of James and Lily (which still made her chest ache to think about), Amy needed to keep Remus alive and well. Happy, even, if that was possible. But Sirius Black? It was not her place to visit Askaban, but she was sure she would find it too hard to see him like that. Gaunt. Half dead.
But now he was on the run... No. She couldn't reveal herself, the Order would kill her.
All she knew was that she had to see him- just once. Even if he didn't know her, she had to look into those familiar grey eyes one more time, and then she would be able to protect him from the ministry's relentless attempts to have his soul taken away.  She vowed then, as Miss Gadbet handed her the sheet of sightings, that Sirius Black would not be killed by any auror under her watch. Sirius Black would be safe.
God knows, he deserved it.

OH MY GOSH IT HURTS

A great deal of screeching and squabbling announced the arrival of the day’s mail. While the letters and bills were neatly delivered through the letterbox, the paper was dropped down the chimney, as per usual. Millie glanced up from her position on the sofa just as the newspaper landed in the fireplace. The protection spell may have saved it from catching fire, but it didn't prevent it from being heavily covered in ash.

“Damn birds,” Millie muttered as she got up to grab the paper. “Why can't they just drop it on the stoop for once?” She blew the ash off, coughing at the plume of black dust that puffed up from the pages. Not glancing down at the paper, she went into the kitchen and dropped it onto the table, then flicked her wand around the kitchen. Eggs, bacon, even coffee beans began to float through the air, ingredients cooking themselves and mixing with others. Her oldest child, Endora, sat at the table, patiently waiting for her breakfast to be made.

“Mummy, who's Sirius Black?” the child asked innocently.

Whirling around, Millie dropped the cup of coffee she was holding. It broke on the floor, the hot liquid spilling out around her feet. “Where did you hear that name, Endora?” Her daughter nodded her chin at the newspaper that had been placed on the table. Hurriedly, Millie snatched it up, her eyes widening at the headline.

’Sirius Black, cold blooded murderer, escapes from Azkaban’ was printed across the top, accompanied by the worn, tired, almost soulless face of her friend she knew so many years ago. She swallowed the lump in her throat that formed at the mere sight of his mugshot. Just his name evoked so many feelings that she'd kept hidden away for years. Looking down at the paper, if Millie hadn't known him in her earlier years, she would've immediately pegged him as a killer. But in the picture, he looked so...numb. Defeated. Like there was nothing left living for. Deep down, Millie knew that was not the face of someone who had ruthlessly murdered countless innocents. After all, he was the man who had been head over heels in love with Evangeline, her best friend. The man who, with James, lit the brooms of the Slytherin Quidditch team on fire and nearly got them both expelled. The man who once had more heart and courage than any other Gryffindor in their year. Sirius Black was not a murderer.

With trembling hands, Millie read the rest of the article, poring over and hanging onto each and every word as if Sirius had written it himself, even though the article warned citizens to stay inside around sighting areas. She scanned down the list, her heart nearly stopping when she saw a single word: London. Her town.

She wondered if they'd meet again, and if he'd remember her at all. He probably wouldn't. After all, Azkaban did terrible things to the mind. He was probably just aimlessly searching for Evangeline, the one true love of his life. Millie glanced up at this thought, absently watching Endora push around the eggs that had placed themselves upon her plate. Poor Evangeline. She was already grief-stricken enough; Millie couldn't imagine what this news would do to her friend, if she hadn't already read it.

“You never answered my question,” Endora pointed out, pouting. She had such dark hair, so dark it looked almost like Regulus’...

“What question?”

Endora huffed impatiently. “Sirius Black! Who is he?”

Millie folded the paper up in her hands, then got up and tossed it into the fire. It reminded her of how much Sirius liked fire messages. He used to send them to Evangeline all the time, as a way of talking to her after curfew. Millie sighed and turned around to face her daughter, who stared back at her with bright blue eyes. Sirius Black was her past, but this was her future. “Nobody, sweetie. He's nobody.”

WHY DENY HIM UNF

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO LIVE IN THE PAST ANYMORE even though it hurts, cos everything reminds her of what happened to all of her friends.

In the time it took for you to read that and respond to it I've literally been staring at the header this whole time going 'ooh pretty sweater' etc. because I'm so drugged.

Drugged?

On medicine.

Same!

Yay illness twins.

#codeine

Ooh you're on the edgy stuff.

#pseudophedrine

I know what that is.

I'm using betamethasone valerate

Claps 4 u

It doesn't even work.

I had to look that one up.

It's for excema lol

We're all so sickly.

I feel bad for us. We need some help.

Yeah.

Sirius Black was out in the world somewhere and Evangeline had no idea where. It didn't seem fair - an innocent man locked up for his adult life so far, and when he finally gets out, he's on the run. He shouldn't be running for his life, he should be with her! Right now, she was walking down the narrow side-streets of Capri; all she could think about was Sirius. Maybe he was in a basement somewhere, some Order member or other having offered to hide him. Perhaps he was sporting a long beard and short hair to hide his face. It was possible that he was dead. Somewhere in a ditch in the middle of nowhere, starved, frozen, sick.

Or he was directly in front of her wearing some kind of ridiculous costume.

Evangeline froze on the spot, right in her tracks. A few people bumped into her. The man across from her was gaunt, and pale, and wild-looking. But it was Sirius, alright, no mistaking it. There were his steel grey eyes looking out from under dark brows. The way he held himself had changed a little, the shoulders had slumped, but he was the same cocky bastard that he ever was. For a moment she thought she'd faint. What else was she supposed to do? Her first emotion was rage, honestly. Blind rage at this fool, parading around in an orange coat and green hat on the island of Capri, in July. Anyone could see him, what was he thinking? Then she knew what to do. In a split second, she knew exactly what she was meant to do.

"Luca! Luca, sei in ritardo! Dai, sbrigati!"

She shouted in rapid Italian, marching purposefully over to Sirius, who at first looked confused, then looked petrified, then settled on silent, accepting shock. Evidently he remembered what an angry Evangeline could do to him. Getting close to his ear as she caught his wrist in her vice-like grip, she whispered:

"Don't say a word, and try to look Italian."

Through the streets she dragged him, talking only in quick, hissing Italian (another language she'd learned while on her travels). Finally, she reached her hotel. It was more difficult to drag Sirius up a narrow flight of spiral stairs. She bumped him against the walls a few times, actually, and the owner of the small, backstreet hotel looked confused as she muttered something about the man being her cousin in Italian and kept thundering past.

Her room was on the very top floor, at the very end of the corridor. So far, she hadn't said a word, and neither had Sirius, save the occasional grunt as he was pulled into yet another wall. As soon as they were through the door, and it was locked and closed, Evangeline released his wrist from her grip and swept to sit on the bed. She fixed him with a glare. He stood awkwardly in front of her.

"Take off that stupid coat, who wears an orange duffel coat in summer? Especially in Italy, for Merlin's sake!"

Sirius shrugged off the coat he'd been wearing. It hit the floor with a soft thud. Underneath he was only wearing a thin grey shirt, slightly ragged. Evangeline gasped: she had underestimated just how thin he was. Even through the shirt she could count his ribs one-by-one. Tears pricked her eyes all of a sudden. Shaking her head to try and rid herself of them, she cleared her throat and glared again. Merlin, the man looked completely broken. A breath steadied her dizzy vision. Compelled to stand, she walked slowly to him and lightly took his face in her hands. His cheekbones stuck out like broken glass, so sunken were his cheeks. Every time she tried to meet his eyes he'd move them, to look at the ceiling, the floor, anywhere but her. Why wouldn't he look at her? As more tears gathered in her eyes, she had to squeeze them shut, and remove her hands from his face.

"Why the hell did you come to Capri, of all places? It's a small island, it's harder to blend in here. You should've gone somewhere bigger."

Sirius chuckled. It sounded hollow.

"You don't see me for thirteen years and still all you can do is criticise me. At least you haven't changed."

Evangeline grit her teeth.

"What was the last thing I said to you?" At this, Sirius looked up - still not at her, but near her - and frowned. This only served to infuriate Evangeline more. "What was the last thing I said, the last time I saw you in the flesh?"

"Be careful." Sirius muttered, hands in pockets again, looking at the floor.

Evangeline circled him gradually, like a predator stalking prey.

"Exactly. I said to be careful. To stay calm. To think of Harry. To think of yourself. To think of me!"

The last words sounded strained, almost screamed. Sirius let out a long, ragged breath.

"I'm sorry."

"If you'd listened to me, Sirius, if you'd taken my advice, gotten Harry then come home, then you wouldn't have had to go to Azkaban, and I wouldn't have had to live for thirteen years without the man I love!"

She did scream this, casting a few silent soundproofing charms on the door and walls as she did. Frustrated tears not shed for twelve years streaked down her cheeks, her eyes were wide and teeth bared. Still Sirius did not look at her. He snarled, though. Snarled and growled.

"I went to try and avenge the death of my best friend and his wife. Twenty one, with a young son, another kid on the way! I went to confront the man who betrayed me, them, got them killed! Lily and James had to have justice, Evangeline! You're still thinking of yourself. As usual."

Smack! Evangeline landed a stinging slap on Sirius' left cheek, so hard he had to put his hand over the point of impact to try and lessen the pain. Evangeline was shaking.

"For a year I thought of no one but you, I wrote letters, put out petitions, articles, tried to rally support, tried to free you, and nothing happened, nothing! I mourned, Sirius!  Because it wasn't enough that Lily and James and Amy had died, as if that hadn't torn me apart enough, you had to go and get yourself arrested! I told you to be careful because I wanted to keep you safe for your own sake, and mine, and Harry's! Remus and Millie and me, we were left totally alone! You left us! We only had each other! So don't try and tell me that I'm being selfish, Sirius, because all I wanted was your safety, our safety, for the good of everyone!"

Her raw words seemed to stun Sirius into silence. His hand dropped from his face, to his side, eyes still cast down. After a few deep, shaking breaths, Evangeline felt a fresh batch of tears form in her eyes. Head down, she sniffed and addressed him.

"You should shave or something, everyone's looking for a man with a moustache and beard. Razor's in the bathroom. And... wash yourself. I don't want you smelling up the place."

With that, she turned and busied herself with something or other on the other side of the room. Anything not to have to look at him. The click of the door shutting told Evangeline that Sirius was in the bathroom. Yes, there was the water running. Good, she thought as she curled up on the bed and sobbed for the first time in twelve years.

Half an hour later, Sirius emerged from the bathroom, wearing the grey shirt and black trousers from before. By this time Evangeline had stopped weeping, and managed to make herself look presentable. The tension in the room was palpable, like when they were together at school without their friends, when she'd first arrived. After a moment dithering, Sirius went and sat on the bed beside her.

Silence settled between them like a thick layer of dust. Why was this so hard? Shouldn't they have been happy to see each other after all these years? Shouldn't they be ripping each others' clothes off and making love long into the night, or something like that? Even talking for hours, even if they didn't touch, only spoke and got to know each other, fell in love all over again. But the only things on her mind were questions. Sighing lightly, Evangeline realised that they had to be asked if they were ever to move on. She didn't want to sit in silence with Sirius for the rest of their lives.

"So... Did you... Think about me? In Azkaban?" Evangeline asked in a small voice. Her hands were behind her, supporting her weight as she leaned back. She was as slender as ever, willowy and youthful, healthy-looking. Such a contrast to Sirius.

After a moment's contemplation, the ghost beside her spoke up, "Yeah. But the dementors, you know, they... they take every happy thought you have. I couldn't remember any of our kisses, or talks together, nothing like that. So I contented myself with studying our fights. Our arguments. The times we hated each other. It was all I could do to remember that I didn't hate you. And then today, when you grabbed my hand... I remembered everything happy. I remembered the times you watched quidditch with me even though you hated it, and the plans we'd made about finding a house together, each and every kiss. And oh Merlin, the way you smell... I think I missed that most of all. Hit me all at once as soon as I saw you. That's a powerful thing to have hit you. Especially when you know you can't do anything about it. Makes your heart hurt." He didn't look at her while he talked. The more he spoke, the more deeply in love with him Evangeline fell, all over again. Tears pricked her eyes and her heart beat faster and faster, all she wanted was to hold him again. "So the short answer is yes, I did think about you in Azkaban."

By this point, Evangeline was staring at him in awe. How could she have shouted, and been so cruel to him? She had to make it up to him, had to find some way of showing how sorry she was.

"Sirius, look at me." He avoided her eyes, looked past her. "Please. Really look at me." The soft break in her voice made him do as she asked, though his hollow eyes seemed to look without seeing. A deep breath steadied her dizzying head before she addressed him again. "Do you still... feel... the same about me?"

His sneering laugh wasn't comforting. "Of course, you silly cow. Why wouldn't I? You're still beautiful. Look at me."

He gestured down at himself. Overlarge clothes, hollow cheeks, almost skeletal. Still handsome, though, at least to Evangeline, who saw with a lover's rose-tinted eyes.

"I'm looking. I still want you, Sirius. I still love you."

Another laugh, this time of disbelief. "No, you don't. You want the 21-year-old man that left. That isn't me. I've changed, Evangeline, that place changes you. I'm not whole anymore. I'm a shell. You deserve someone... I don't know, normal."

Evangeline almost choked on the lump in her throat. Was that how he saw himself, really? Surely not. "Normal? How very drab. I see before me the man I love. And he is whole, and handsome, and mine."

"Even if that was true, we couldn't be together. I'm a wanted man, there's a price on my head and I refuse to put you in danger."

Rolling her eyes, Evangeline leaned closer to him. "I don't need protection. You've been away from me for too long, Sirius. If you still want me, and I still want you, then we're damn well gonna have each other."

And with that, tired of his protestations, Evangeline closed the distance between them and stopped his mouth with a kiss. If Sirius had any reservations about this he certainly didn't voice them. No, he moved himself closer to her, kissing hungrily, searchingly. When they pulled apart, the atmosphere was different. They were like opposite ends of a magnet, pulled together, though at the moment they were resisting. They stayed close, face centimetres apart, by now side by side.

Sirius' hand was on Evangeline's cheek. Finally,he looked into her eyes, and spoke: "You know, twelve years is a long time to go without a kiss."

"Was it worth the wait?"

Words weren't needed, his smile was enough. Cautiously, Evangeline rested her hand on Sirius' chest, fiddling with the buttons and nibbling her lip. Both looked at her hand, then each other. The look they shared was Evangeline's way of asking permission. It was granted, evidently, as she proceeded to undo each button, eyes never leaving Sirius'.

Evangeline pushed the shirt from Sirius' shoulders. A light gasp escaped her. It was worse than she had expected: she knew he had tattoos, he'd got them while they were together, but there were new ones showing his inmate number, his ward, his cell. She traced each one with her finger, not breaking the almost hypnotic silence that had settled over the room, broken only by their breathing. Gently her fingers moved down to touch each rib in turn, the curve at his waist, the top of his hipbones, every scar.

All the time she was doing this, Sirius had been watching her. He seemed unable to take his eyes off of her. Thirteen years without Evangeline, almost, and here she was in the flesh. She hadn't changed at all; her hair was shorter now, true, and there was a melancholy shimmer in her eyes, but she was as beautiful as ever. He wished he could still be handsome for her. Then again, she didn't seem repulsed, as he had assumed she might. Right now she was tracing every mark of his time in Azkaban, going over each one, as if trying to learn what he had been through by the etchings of his skin. Suddenly her lips were on his chest, kissing the scars, every part that showed his ordeal. Lovingly, carefully, gently. He fell back on the bed and closed his eyes, forgetting Azkaban and Peter and everything in the world but what he could see. A tiny hotel room in Italy, with a woman who loved him.

They spent the night exploring each other, reclaiming lost territories, whispering thirteen years' worth of words to each other. When they woke, they seemed like one person, tangled together in the sheets. They didn't move for hours. Once they moved, things would have to be arranged; contact with the Order, Sirius' next hiding place, how Evangeline would fit into all of this, if she would at all. But that could wait, if only for an hour, while they lay and remembered what it was like to live in a world without worry.

Good God thank you for that comic relief.

It's brilliant omg you made an effort. I c it I don't ugh don't look at me